


The promise of a future

by Eternalwriterofstories



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And so does Natasha, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Feels, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Many characters are just mentioned, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Team as Family, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, i take canon like I make my salads I get to choose what to put in, long fic, what is canon anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24582277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternalwriterofstories/pseuds/Eternalwriterofstories
Summary: Tony looked angrily at the sky, ignoring the rest of the people behind him. He was done trying to understand what was happening through them.He wanted answers and goddammit, he would get them from the source even if he had to scream his lungs out for the rest of eternity.“So let me get this straight” he said “Everything we did, everything we worked for. Me and her” he said pointing to Nat “We fought and we died so everyone else would be safe….And you are telling us it was all for nothing?”Natasha joined his side and placed a calm hand to his shoulder, maybe to ground him or to ground herself. She seemed as upset as he was.Tony almost expected no answer so it was a surprise when he heard a voice, not in the sky, but in his head.“It was not for nothing, Tony Stark. It was only for the beginning”
Relationships: Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 45





	1. Let us go back to where it all began

_“For all this to work, he must decide to go first. We can’t reach him otherwise. And he will fight to stay”_

_“So what do you wants us to do?”_

_“You should know it already… Help him let go…”_

.

.

.

.

.

.

\---

As cheesy as it sounded, the first thing his mind noticed was the darkness.

Tony remembered struggling to look at Pepper as much as he could, to hold her gaze as she uttered the reassuring words that allowed him to finally let go.

He remembered that as the overwhelming pain was replaced by numbness, he found his vision turning darker and darker even though his eyes were open, and soon the sight of his wife was gone.

That made him sad.

The second thing he noticed was the lack of pain. His last moments had been the most painful experience of his life – and that was saying something, as he had been the guy that had had his chest cut open in a cave, poisoned almost to death by the very devise that was supposed to keep him alive and the one who had fought plenty battles against enemies and friends alike – he knew pain. He was intimately familiar with it. He could even say he was used to it by then.

And now, for the first time since he came out of that cave in Afghanistan, it was gone. All of it.

That brought him relief.

Finally, the third and last thing he noticed came to him slowly, almost lazily, like it was waiting for him to notice it instead of making itself known. It was the feeling of having body, the ability to _feel_ with all his limbs.

But there was more to it. It was what his body was feeling that caught his attention. There was something soft under his back and head, also a fresh and kind of silky texture brushing his feet and bringing an almost cozy sensation to the rest of his body, making him want to curl himself more in the material.

It was –It was as if was laying on a… Was he in a _bed?_

That…that was a surprise.

Tony opened his eyes, shocked to find no change whatsoever to the pitch darkness he had felt at the beginning. For a few seconds, his mind remained completely blank, only concerned with the registry of the things he could feel, despite not being able to see anything.

Then, those seconds passed and it was as if a switch had been turned on.

Everything came back to him full force, like being hit with Thor’s hammer on the face. The plan, Thanos, the battle, the gauntlet, the snap… The more he remembered, the more he felt his body reacting; the beat of his heart skyrocketed so much he could feel it on his ears and his breathing accelerated so much he felt dizzy.

He closed his eyes again. There was no point in having them open if there was nothing to see.

His mind was in a haze. The more he tried to think the more jumbled became his thoughts. He was dead. That was the only thing his mind kept repeating over and over. There was no way he had survived _that_.

He had died. _God_ , he had really done it this time.

He felt as if he had an incredible weight in chest that did not let him move and a lump had formed inside his throat. It did not matter if he opened or not his eyes, the sight of the people that were there with him would be burned in his retinas for all eternity, as would be their last words

Rhodey, Peter, Pepper.

He had seen the three of them. They had been okay. They had been safe.

That, if anything, seemed to calm him down a little.

Rhodey. His best friend. He had clutched his head, just like he had so many years ago in a desert, promising they would ride together the next time. How many battles had they fought together after that?

It was only fitting he had said nothing at all this time. It had been so clear that that would be their last battle together-

No. Not thinking about his death. No. That wasn’t important.

The _important_ thing here was that the plan had worked. He was certain of that. They had brought everyone back and for an instant his family had been whole again.

He had seen Peter. He had been there, alive, right in front of him. Talking a mile a minute just as he remembered.

He had held him in his arms, relishing on the fact that he was back to him.

The kid had been there, he called him _Tony_ , he had been crying as he –

Okay, nope. Moving on.

Pepper! The love of his life. His mind had gone full circle now. The loss of her face was the first thing he had noticed and now it would be the thing he would focus on.

She had been smiling, the last time he saw her. She made that the last thing he ever saw too. She had been his rock ‘till the very end. He hoped she kept smiling, even after he –

 _Fine._ There was no way around it. He was dead.

The sooner he addressed it the better.

 _Thanos was dead, too_. Tony thought after a few more seconds.

Thank goodness. If there was a silver lining to this whole thing, it was that at least _that_ threat would never harm anyone he loved ever again.

His family was safe and he…he was dead. He had to keep repeating it. The more he did, the more used he would be at that fact.

Tony sighed and felt his head bury in the soft material it was laying on. It felt suspiciously like a pillow.

Where was he anyway? How could he still feel and think and all that sort of thing?

He opened his eyes again and even though everything was still very dark, he kept them open in case they got used to it and he could finally make out some shapes or something.

With deliberately slow movements, he started to feel his way around and confirmed the previous – although bizarre considering the circumstances – hypothesis of his current location. He was in a quite comfy, very real bed. It felt quite familiar too.

_What the hell?_

Just as the thought crossed his mind, the lights turned on without warning. Everything was so bright Tony squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds and then had to squint a little to adjust.

He gently pushed himself up so he was sitting and finally got his first look around. His heart made a tiny jump as he absorbed his surroundings.

He was in his old room, at his old house, in _Malibu_.

At first glance, it looked just as he remembered; back when his relationship with Pepper had passed to the stage when she finally moved in with him. The room itself hadn’t changed much back then; her mere presence had made him make the effort of going to sleep at night, just to be by her side, even if the nights always came with nightmares.

The room, just like much of the house, was decorated by her long before they were together, so when she moved in just a few items in the room changed at all. 

He cracked his neck, noting the way it strained against the movement like it always did when he slept for too long in an awkward position.

Now that his eyes had adjusted to the light he realized the source wasn’t even that strong. The two lamps at both sides of the bed provided most of the illumination, but Tony could see the sky breaking dawn through the windows

He got out of the bed slowly, testing his strength, and found himself capable of moving just fine. He walked to the windows and stared at his reflection for a moment. There was no evidence of his use of the gauntlet and for that he was thankful. He could still remember the feeling of all his right side burning, even if there was no sign of it now.

He raised both hands to eye level and inspected them. They looked fine, they had the same amount of wrinkles and spots they had before the battle. It was like nothing had happened to him, like he hadn’t just died.

And that was the thing, to be honest. He didn’t feel dead. Not that he had previous experience on that matter. He had come close countless of times, but this was the first he had actually done it.

He didn’t know what he imagined but he expected it to be less…corporeal? He could still feel the need to draw air to his lungs; he could feel the beating of his heart and the heat of his own body.

He wondered if he could bleed, if he needed food and –God, did he still need to go the bathroom even in the afterlife?!

Until that moment, his mind had felt a little bit numb, slowly processing the information, but now that the thoughts started to become more frantic there was no stopping it.

This…this wasn’t right.

Was he even truly dead? Maybe this was more time-traveling shenanigans – this place should be at the bottom of the ocean – and he was stuck in the past now.

If so, how could he go back? He took a quick look at himself; he was wearing some old white pajamas he didn’t remember ever owning. He had no suit, no devices and no Pym particles on sight that would help him. Time-traveling could not happen without any of them, so how was he here? If he even _was_ here…

Was this some kind of test? Was this house, destroyed and buried under the sea so many years ago, his final resting place? Was he doomed to relieve passages of his life over and over until he could atone for all the fuck-ups (which were far too many to count) he had made in life.

Tony breathed hard through his mouth, trying to keep the panic attack he knew was coming if he let his thoughts go astray like that any longer. He needed to think of this in a way his brain could process it without losing himself. He needed to _calm down._

He recalled the exercise Pepper used to do with him during the first months after he returned from Titan, when he got panic attacks nearly every day.

Right…five things he could see. Tony let his eyes roam around and started to name things in his mind. There was his reflection, the ocean, a few clouds at the distance…inside the room was the bed, the lamps…

Okay. Four things he could touch.

Tony slowly touched his right forearm, right where the gauntlet had been. He felt his own skin, smooth and unharmed. He could feel his own heartbeat, going a mile a minute. He then focused on the surface of the floor, he was barefoot and he mildly thought it didn’t feel cold at all. He walked back to the bed and felt the silky sheets, tracing his fingers through all the surfaces in reach.

This wasn’t working. Everything around him seemed so real, but how could his mind tell him otherwise? He didn’t know how being dead was like and there was nothing to compare to and Tony felt all this was a little unjust because if he _was_ dead, wasn’t the afterlife supposed to be free of all worries and all that?

“Okay, calm the _heck_ down” he whispered, hearing his voice aloud for the first time since he awoke in this place. This was crazy. He felt crazy. And crazy people spoke out loud with themselves

He needed cold, tangible facts. Things he could state without losing his mind in doubt. Tony swallowed, hard, and wrecked his mind thinking of something he could state.

After a few minutes, he went for simplest one.

Fact #1: He was currently in a room that looked exactly like the one he once had in the Malibu house.

But… was it really? Tony pursed his lips.

He looked at the windows and an idea came to him. A way to see if this was truly the place he once lived in.

His heart gave a little twist inside him, beating wildly against his ribcage. It should have been the first thing he thought the second he realized where he was, but honestly? His mind was still a mess. He didn’t want to hope and be disappointed. It was certainly a long shot…

… But he had to try.

Swallowing the lump that had settled in his throat, he raised his head to the ceiling and spoke.

“Hey, JARVIS. Are you there?” 

He waited, holding his breath. Seconds passed; outside the sky had completely brightened, making the light inside the room almost useless. Tony sighed, it was a beautiful day and yet he felt a little part of himself crumble again.

Suddenly, AC/DC was blasting through the ceiling and an achingly familiar voice greeted him from above.

“ _At your service, sir; as always_ ”

The lamps turned off abruptly and the holograms in the windows came to life. Tony released his breath and held back a smile.

“Jesus Christ. What took you so long?”

“ _I believe it’s called ‘making an entrance’, sir_ ” JARVIS said, all politeness despite the sass of that answer, and turned off the music. This time Tony could not help the smile that rose to his face.

“I missed you, buddy” he said, the lump in his throat turning a little more bearable.

“ _It certainly has been a long time_ ” JARVIS said, his voice turned a bit softer “ _Welcome home, sir_ ”

“Oh? Is that what this place is?” Tony asked, inwardly thankful that he didn’t have to speak to himself like a mad man any longer.

“ _I’m afraid I do not understand_ ”

Tony got out of the bed once again and started to pace around the room. The place felt so unhomely and sterile compared to the one he had by the lake.

“This house has been gone for almost a decade” he argued “ _You_ have been gone for almost as much. Where am I, really?” 

JARVIS seemed to take a moment to consider his question. As he waited, Tony saw something at the front counter with the corner of his eye. Something that he was sure had never been there before.

Getting closer he felt his heart squeeze a little at the sight. There was a picture of him and Pepper, making silly faces at the camera. Another one had him holding baby Morgan, back when she was small enough to fit in just one arm. The last one was a family shot of the three of them sitting together.

He knew these pictures. He had arranged them himself in a wall at his room in the cabin.

“ _I think you know the answer to that question, sir.”_ The AI finally said, solemn.

Tony glared at the ceiling. He knew what JARVIS was implying (denial could only take him so far) but still, he could pretend a little bit longer.

“Are you evading my questions? Is that how is it going to go now? You know how I like straight answers.” he dared.

“ _Sir”_ JARVIS said ever so softly that it knocked the fight out of him “ _What is that you want me to say?”_

In any other circumstance, Tony would have been impressed by how human sounded that response. JARVIS had been created in honor of his dear butler and father-figure and it had been a close companion and, dare he say, close friend for a long time. His personality had always been evolving; turning more human-like the more it interacted with him.

But even with all the jabs, the sass and even the close to the death situations, the AI’s voice had never sounded like this.

What was what Tony wanted to hear, really? JARVIS was right. Tony _did_ know the answer. He had known it the second he had woken up. He had fought against it in the form of denial, then confusion and then anger. He had tried to think of any other logical possibility, even if it was farfetched and was driving him nuts. Deep down, he just needed to hear the words aloud from someone who was not him.

Someone who confirmed the reality of this situation.

“I…This is not time-travel, is it?” he muttered, knowing the AI would listen.

JARVIS understood the question for what it was.

“ _The year is 2023”_ it stated. Then, as if in an afterthought, it added “ _You fought valiantly, sir.”_

Tony closed his eyes and braced himself against the furniture. He nodded once, twice, and pursed his lips. He could not breathe again.

“Yeah.That…that sounds about right” he gasped, feeling his heart clench inside his chest. He absentmindedly continued wondering why he still felt these things. “I had to go with a bang, right?”

“ _It was indeed a sight to behold”_

Tony snorted and opened his eyes again. It still felt weird seeing his old room.

“And this place is what, exactly?” he asked because if he did not keep talking he would drown and he could not have that. “Am I in my mind? Do I have to take a ride down memory lane in other to, I don’t know, cross over? Or is this some purgatory situation? It would be fitting, being who I am — and I can still feel my body, that can’t be right—”

“ _Sir, may I recommend you to take a few deep breaths. It seems you are talking yourself into a panic attack”_

“Panic-atta – _yeah_ , I can feel that!” he rasped “I shouldn’t though. Not in this state. This is not how they sell life after death, you know! I’m sure this was not in the pamphlet” His desperate attempt to joke to lighten the situation fell flat as his lungs started to get more and more closed up. He was sure he was seeing black spots now.

“ _Sir, you need to breathe or you are going to pass out”_

“How can I pass out?! Why?” Tony yelled, exasperated “I feel _everything,_ JARVIS! I can feel my heart, my breathing, even the sweat that’s running down my forehead.” Tony grasped his hair, hard, just enough for him to feel the pain. “I. AM. _DEAD._ Why do I still _feel_ this way?!”

Somewhere along his rant, JARVIS had darkened the room and turned the lamps back on, diming their lights so they would give only the minimum of illumination. Somehow, it helped.

“Thank you” he muttered between gasps, still trying to put himself together.

“ _Just keep breathing, sir. It should pass soon enough”_ the AI soothed.

Tony breathed hard, again, for what it felt like the third attack he had to ride out since he woke up. Frankly, he was exhausted.

“I thought the afterlife was supposed to be peaceful” he grumbled when he finally stopped hearing a ring in his ears.

“ _All that you feel is perfectly normal, sir. It is not easy to get over an event as violent as what you lived. But you have nothing to fear, this place is for you, sir, as am I. Nothing here shall harm you”_

Tony nodded, because what else could he do? Luckily his heart and breathing had settled once again and he felt his mind a bit clearer. In life (and oh did that phrase rattled him) it usually took more time for him to calm down.

He turned his attention back to the frames. He took the last one and caressed the glass with the tip of his fingers.

“And these? They weren’t here before.”

JARVIS only took a second to answer.

“ _All what you see is here to make you feel more comfortable, sir. To help make the transition easier”_

 _“_ Transition, huh. So this will be my permanent address from now on?”

“ _It is what you need it to be. A home, sir”_

Tony sighed. He let his eyes roam around the room once again.

Why his afterlife had to be spend here of all places? Sure, it had been his house for a long time and he did enjoy Malibu, but he could name several places that came after that could make him feel more comfortable than here. The photos certainly helped a little, but this place did not feel like the lake house did. It did not feel like home.

But it was familiar and JARVIS was there. It seemed he had to make do with what he had.

“Well…I guess there are worst places to spend eternity” he admitted with a small, resigned sigh “At least it’s not a cloudy spot in the sky”

“ _That would not suit your style at all”_ JARVIS joked, as playful and well-mannered as he remembered. Tony could not help but smile at that.

He placed the family photo back with others, his hand lingering in the frame for a few seconds. He felt a pang of regret, already missing the life he had with Pepper and Morgan, the life he would never return to. 

_But they were safe_ , he thought, trying to reassure himself with that simple fact.

They had won. Thanos was gone, the dusted came back and everyone would get a second chance in life, even if it left his own unfinished.

His death was only a small price to pay for the safety of everyone he loved. A price he had prepared himself for.

He had left instructions, made protocols. He even made a goodbye message just in case. He had taken all precautions… 

“JARVIS, turn the lights off and open the windows again. It’s a nice day outside”

The AI did as it was told. Tony regarded the view once again, admiring the perfect blue ocean and the almost perfect blue sky. He noticed that the clouds, far in the horizon, seemed to have gotten a little bit closer.

He would not be sad anymore. Now that he had his confirmation, he would accept it for what it was: out of all the 14 million or so possibilities, this was the one where everything was where it supposed to be.

He would need time to get used to this new reality of course, but he was adaptable and if he knew one thing about the afterlife, it was that he had all the time in the world.

Steeling himself, Tony took another deep breath, trying to stir back the confidence he was famous for, even if sometimes it was more of an act than anything else.

“So” he said, clasping his hands, false cheer in his voice. “How about you show me around?”


	2. A walk down memory lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know, Javs. This place is making it really hard for me not to miss everyone”  
> “I’m sorry” and JARVIS truly sounded like it meant it “But that is not the purpose of this place”  
> Tony dropped on the couch and passed a hand through his face, exhaling loudly.  
> “Then what is?”  
> “That is for you to decide”

_“Let’s send him somewhere nice, a place he will enjoy being in”_

_“The cabin?”_

_“No. It’s too dear to him”_

_“But we want him to be comfortable”_

_“And then make him choose? No. That would be too cruel. Another place"_

_“Okay, then let’s fill it with things he loves”_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_\---_

The place was far too big for one person.

He had lived in a tower, yes, then in a high-tech facility in New York’s upstate; and yet this place felt _enormous_ compared to the tranquil home by the lake in which he had lived his last years.

At first, the rest of the house had felt a lot like his old room. Everything was so uptight and impersonal that it was a wonder that he had ever enjoyed living in there. He didn’t hate it exactly; it had after all fitted his character once, but he was a far cry from the man that had hosted massive parties in the living room.

Back when he lived here he had never thought much about it, but he was always in his workshop. All this space, even if back in the day there were people—mostly Pepper or Rhodey, even Obadiah at some point—coming and leaving at daily basis…it seemed unnecessary now.

The only thing that kept him from surrendering himself to the unnerving feeling such big place gave him – _‘I swear I can hear the echo of my voice. There was never an echo in here, Jarvis. Listen. ECHO!’ ‘Sir, you are screaming at the guest room, the sound is bound to bounce’_ – was the scavenger’s hunt he had started at the beginning of the tour.

It seemed like the photographs in his cabinet were not the only items in that house that he _knew_ weren’t there before. At first they tipped him off, like the clothes he found in his closet (less fancy suits and more pun-filled t-shirts) or the seeing glasses he had begun to wear in his later years, but then he had begun to have fun finding them.

“Ah, there it is! Another one!” he announced, smiling widely at his discovery. He had been walking aimlessly in the hallway for about ten minutes until he finally noticed the new arrangement of decorations on it.

Hidden in plain sight between some of the paintings Pepper had curated for him over the years was a small table, on it two different –and yet connected –things: his wedding ring and the only photo he had of his wedding day.

He could perfectly recall Happy’s words in his head…

 _'Look, I get it. I know this is not how you guys planned to do this, hell, this not how_ I _wanted you guy to do this' H_ _appy motioned the gloomy city hall, almost entirely empty, where Pepper and Rhodey were quietly talking to an old judge who was kind enough to agree to officiate the ceremony despite all the craziness that was going on at the moment 'But if you are going to elope, you might as well have good photo out of it'_

_As soon as Tony had been able to stand in his two feet, he had convinced Pepper to marry him at that moment, taking only Happy and Rhodey to serve as their witnesses._

_It was a risky move, especially with the world not knowing where to look for blame after losing half of their population. It was only a matter of time before they turned their eyes to the Avengers and the last thing anyone wanted was to attract any kind of attention._

_But Tony could not wait any longer and neither could Pepper._

_Soon, there would be a third member to their small family…_

_'Happy, we talked about this–' Tony began to say, but his friend was faster._

_'Yeah, I heard you before. Trust me on this; no one is getting anywhere close to this'_

_'You know I trust you' Tony sighed 'You know me, I’m not a nostalgic man and this…might not be the best time to keep memories'_

_Happy narrowed his eyes, shaking his head._

_'No. That’s not it. This is your wedding, you are supposed to have something to remember it by' he narrowed his eyes 'It’s you who thinks you don’t deserve to have this' he took a step closer to Tony and he had to fight the urge to step back 'Because that’s how your mind works' he argued, pointing him forcibly and gently at the same time. Only he could be both angry and caring “But you do. Even now. Especially now”_

_Tony adjusted his sunglasses and drew in a long breath._

_'The kid once said he wanted to be the photographer' he muttered 'he told me his aunt let him borrow some old camera of his family…he was excited' his words felt like lead in his tongue. Happy grimaced._

_'I miss him too, you know' he sighed 'But he can’t be here right now'_

_Both of them flinched at the words, Tony even shrank a little in his place._

_'You are not doing him a disservice by trying to move on; you are doing it by letting it consume you.' Happy played with the small digital camera he was holding. Tony hung his head, both of them clearly avoiding meeting their eyes._

_'If we let ourselves drown in our own grieve' his friend began slowly 'it will be like losing them every single day of our lives and that' Happy moved so Tony would look at him and despite his best efforts, they locked gazes ' That will destroy us.' Happy’s voice broke a little and Tony had to fight back the tears threatening to come out._

_'Peter can’t be here…but I think he would’ve wanted for you to be happy on your own wedding day' Happy pointed to the camera 'And to keep making good memories'_

_It was an impressive speech, Tony thought, far more emotional than anything both of them was ever comfortable with. His eyes welled up and he noted that Happy was cleaning some tears of his own._

_Tony pulled him to a hug and squeezed as hard as he could, even in his weakened state._

_'I’m so glad you are here' he had said against his friend’s collarbone._

_'So I am. I’ve waited years for this. No fucking way I was going to miss it'_

_Tony laughed and they broke apart. He eyed the camera with resignation and just a tiny bit of excitement._

_'One photo' he said, Happy smirked._

_'One is all I need'_

Happy took, in fact, three photographs that day because why the hell not. Tony could recall each one perfectly. The first one had been a group photo; the four of them smiling politely at the camera before the judge began. The second one was just Tony and Pepper, putting their wedding rings on, looking at each other’s eyes while pronouncing their vows.

The third one, the one he was staring at that right moment, was his favorite and the only one he got to keep. He was holding Pepper in his arms, kissing her on the cheek, both of their eyes closed and both wearing the same, honest to God, genuine smile. Tony looked healthier somehow and Pepper had a slight pink on the cheeks that had nothing to do with her make-up.

It was a true moment of real happiness after the whole shit show of the Blip and Happy had gotten it on camera.

The little shit had been so smug when he handled him the framed photo weeks later, smiling proudly as delighted face upon seeing it. There could have been a thousand of snarky remarks on both sides; but Tony just pulled his friend to another hug. He had been so thankful.

After that, Tony always made sure to keep a record of happy moments at home. All because Happy had been so stubborn on his wedding day.

“ _Is everything all right, sir?”_ JARVIS asked, making him jump out of his thoughts. Tony took the wedding ring from the table and put it on, contemplating it for a second.

“You know, J” he said, ignoring the question “Ever since I hired Happy, I was always glad I had him as a friend….I don’t think I told him enough”

“ _I believe Mr. Hogan knew, sir”_ JARVIS said, voice soft. Jesus, he really did sound a lot more human in this afterlife “ _He knew you very well and how you showed affection”_

Tony hummed, twisting the ring on his finger. ‘ _I have been carrying this since 2008’_ Happy had said once.

“He was very invested on me and Pepper. I just wish he would have focused some of that energy to find happiness for himself too. Can you imagine him? Happy dating?”

“ _You always said he was quite the romantic”_

Somehow, the image of Happy chasing down paparazzi like a maniac in a golf cart came to him.

“He had quite the character too” Tony chuckled, sobering “He is a good man, a great man. I hope whoever future Mrs. Hogan is, if she ever appears…I hope she makes him happy”

“ _I’m sure she will, sir”_

Tony nodded, choosing not to say aloud how much he would’ve loved to be there to see it. He was better off not dwelling on what he could not change.

“Okay then. Shall we continue? How are we on the findings?”

“ _You have seen 15% of the house and found seven new items”_

“Let’s keep going then!”

From that point on, he kept finding more and more things, as if the house itself had taken note of his growing homesickness. Memories kept coming to him like waves, clearer than ever before.

He turned to the next guest suite and stopped.

“Wait, Jarvis. Why is the room different?”

“ _Many things are different in this house, sir. You’ll have to be more specific”_

Tony rolled his eyes. The sass was strong on this one in the afterlife, it seemed.

“Okay, one thing is to find new stuff and another is to _remodel_ an entire room. I’m pretty sure the room did _not_ look like this the last time I was here, this feels like cheating”

“ _I could recommend another place for you to look, if it troubles you that much”_ JARVIS began to say but Tony was already shaking his head. The change wasn’t that bad anyways.

The room felt nostalgic, but not in a way the other stuff he had found had been. It was more decorated than he remembered ever seeing it; the walls had some old and crumpled posters from MIT, and others from the Air Force. He had been just a teenager the first time he saw them.

_‘Are you sure you want to join as soon as we graduate? Don’t you want to see the world more before that?’ he had said as his new roommate, James- he would pick a nickname for him soon enough- hanged the ugly thing on his wall._

_‘I’m not getting married, man. Besides, is not like it’s against my will or anything. I always wanted to be a pilot’_

He was happy to find some old War Machine sweatshirts on the bed. All of them had been custom-made at his request after the public granted his friend the very-much-awesome-and-far-superior-than-Iron-Patriot name.

He gifted them at the slightest chance possible, in birthdays and Christmases for many years. Rhodey always grumbled at the sight of them, but Tony knew he liked them. He was particularly pleased to keep seeing them even after Iron Patriot became a thing.

Tony caressed the fabric and kept looking around; something else had caught his attention.

The nightstand had photos of Rhodey with his mom and sister, the day of their graduation - ‘ _Okay, give me that honeybear, I’m no professional photographer but I’m sure I can_ at least _take one good photo of you guys today’-_ and he somehow knew before opening the dresser that he would find uniforms and medals inside.

He could not imagine Rhodes ever choosing this arrangement, being the organized man he was, but it felt right. It was like a blend of all the phases his friend went through that Tony had the privilege to witness and being part of – from the goofy and all too responsible teenager to the proud military pilot and later a brave avenger.

The entire room was filled with pieces of his friend’s life. The more he looked at the place and recognized all the tiny details, Tony thought of how much their lives had been intertwined …until now.

From most of it, Rhodey had never ever given up on him…

‘ _You are more than what you are, you just don’t see it’_

…He hoped that he had made as much as a positive impact in Rhodey’s life as he had been on his.

Tony kept a small smile on his face as he exited the room and closed the door behind him. He did not think he would be entering there again soon but it was nice to know that whenever he missed his best friend, he could always go there again.

It would never be like having him at his side but, like much from this house, he would take what he could get.

“File everything in there in, J”

“ _Sir”_

The more he wandered around, jabbing with JARVIS from time to time, more stuff kept appearing in places where they shouldn’t be.

He found items from the team scattered around all over the place. Little things that Tony might not have noticed had he not been looking for them. CDs and old DVDs of Clint’s just sitting there in the entertainment room, Bruce’s calming scent-candles outside the spa, Cap’s sketchbook in the desk of the home office and even Thor’s hairbands laying on the floor of helipad, as if the god had left them in a hurry. 

It was strange and comforting in a sense. The team had never actually visited this house when it was still standing, the Tower being far more suitable to accommodate all of them and their needs. He had joked about inviting them in more than one occasion, but the moment had never arrived.

And then Killian happened and all went to the bottom of the ocean. Literally.

‘ _I guess is for the best’ Tony said to the team, all of them reunited in the penthouse in the Tower. Pepper was sitting next to him, adding parts to their retelling of their very explosive holiday that lead to both of them moving in to New York. ‘You guys were too boring without me.’_

_Steve and Nat shared an amused look, Bruce snorted and Clint rolled his eyes good naturally._

_‘Oh, were we now?’ Steve said, playing along ‘And how you would fix that?’_

_‘Isn’t it obvious?’ Tony smirked; wrapping an arm around Pepper and pulling her closer ‘I bring all the fun!’_

A few months after that, Thor appeared in the Tower, looking to assemble the team so they could bring Loki's Scepter back to his homeland. It was fun, as Tony had said, being the whole team together.

Now all that stuff was the only thing he had from that time. He smiled at each of the findings, gathering all in the same place: the entertainment room. If he closed his eyes, he could almost picture all of them fighting to be the ones to choose the movie for that night.

“Okay…I guess that’s all from here. Did you get them all?” he asked so he could still pretend he was playing a game and not reminiscing parts of his life. 

“ _The list has been updated”_ JARVIS reported. Tony nodded.

“Shall we go continue downstairs, then?”

The main floor at first glance seemed almost untouched but Tony had a trained eye by then and he noticed Pepper’s favorite cushions from the cabin almost instantly. He took one and hugged it to his chest, inhaling softly. It almost smelled like her.

There was also a blanket at one of the couches. It was a big and fluffy thing he kept around the minute an enhanced teenager felt asleep for the first time in one of his visits to the Compound.

He took the blanket and inhaled it too, closing his eyes. Like the cushion before, it had slight scent on it.

“You know, Javs. This place is making it really hard for me not to miss everyone”

“ _I’m sorry”_ and JARVIS truly sounded like it meant it “ _But that is not the purpose of this place”_

Tony dropped on the couch and passed a hand through his face, exhaling loudly.

“Then what is?”

“ _That is for you to decide”_

Tony lifted an eyebrow and looked up to the ceiling.

“You are being real cryptic about this, you know? Before you always answered my questions”

“ _Most of time you already knew the answers, sir”_

Tony sighed and looked at all the open space in the living room, a place that was supposed to fit dozens of people at minimum had now only one to fill the entire place.

“I suppose the tower or the Compound wouldn’t have been much better” he muttered.

If this was supposed to be his personal heaven, it had to be for a reason. Of that much, he was sure.

He moved along to the kitchen, wondering half-heartily if he would find food on it. He did. All the stuff he used to eat back home, including apparently infinites amounts of coffee.

That cheered him up a little.

“See this, Jarvs?” he said conversationally as he motioned the spray hose in the kitchen sink “I used to wash the dishes with this thing. Installed it myself after the faucet exploded in my face on our first night after moving in” he explained, remembering quite vividly that evening.

Pepper had laughed so hard at his soaked face that day, not at all bothered with his grumbling as she took out towels to dry him up. It had been the first time in that first year after the Snap, their wedding aside, that she had laughed so carefree. Free of the pain the entire universe had on their shoulders.

He had offered to do the dishes ever since, even if he lost control of the spray hose more than once.

“ _You always said you would be the perfect house-husband”_ JARVIS joked _“Surely Ms. Potts was very proud”_.

Tony’s smile was filled with melancholy, but he was quick to shake it off.

“Yeah, well. I took my duties very seriously” he answered instead. “And its Mrs. Stark now, J. Don’t you forget.”

He smiled at the collage of pictures at the side of one of the cabinets, all memories of his married life and the milestones of his daughter.

A same display had been in the kitchen of the cabin; he was glad it was here too.

“Okay… I think we have looked at pretty much everything in here. Where to next?”

“ _You have yet to visit the garage, sir”_

Ah yes.

“You know me, always saving best to last” he said as he made his way to the stairs, taking his sweet time going down each step.

His tour up to that moment had seemed like riding a nostalgia train, especially with the added items from his other houses, but none felt the way it did when Tony stared down at his basement

His old collection of both vintage and up-to-date cars was there, including the unfinished one he had made with his father. The hall of armors was there too and he could see that the vault for the rest was still in place. The holograms came to life as he opened the door, their blue light greeting him like an old friend.

Surprisingly, DUM-E and U were not there. A shame; the place seemed a little bit empty without them.

As he walked around, Tony noticed the new stuff immediately.

The tables had things he made with Peter, little projects they created as they worked together in their lab days. There was the prototype for the portable web-shooters the kid had invented — he was pretty sure the finished product was used for the first time the day Thanos & co. arrived to earth — some of the their blueprints for the improvements of his spider-suit were there too, along with formulas for new webs.

The furniture placed near the small kitchen was different too; they were not the leather-bound sofas and armchairs that were there when the house was destroyed, they were the overly comfy, large and not at all elegant sofas Bruce had chosen for their lab at the Avenger’s tower, back when he accepted to move in. Those things had practically swallowed them whole with the amount of times they both crashed on them when they worked on a project together.

Tony sat in the larger one, smiling when he was furrowed all the way to the back.

In front of him, instead of the TV on the wall, there was a whole different thing. Filled from top to bottom, there were Morgan’s drawings, all from the age of two to four. He would know; she had made them each time he went to the garage to tinker. It had been her way to keep herself occupied as she kept him company.

He noticed that her first drawing was front and center of the whole thing and he could not help but chuckle at the sight of it.

_'Okay Morgoona, if you are going to accompany me here, you might as well do something useful” he said in mocking seriousness ‘I have seen how you observe my blueprints little miss, and let me tell you right now it’s not gonna happen.'_

_Morgan giggled and stared at him as if he had said the most hilarious thing, but he would not be fooled by her innocent smile. He handed her a white paper ‘f you want to color something, you gotta do it from scratch’_

_‘Squacch?’ she parroted in her cute little voice and Tony had to fight a smile as he nodded._

_‘Yes. It means that you must create something that wasn’t there before’ he explained, leaving what he was doing in the table and joined her in the floor. He took the crayon box from her hand and quickly drew a cartoony little girl with the brightest pink crayon he could find._

_‘Look, what’s this?’ Morgan scooted over until she was resting on his side and eagerly pointed at the drawing._

_‘Girl!’ she said, smiling at him. He smiled back and gave her a quick kiss in the forehead as praise._

_‘Exactly! And she wasn’t there before, right?’ Morgan shook her head with a giggle ‘Right. Now it’s your turn. You can create anything you want’ he said, turning the page over so she could draw on it._

_His daughter looked at the blank page and reached for the opened box of crayons. She took the red and yellow and began scrabbling some messy lines all over the place, her little hand moving furiously and with little control. Then she switched for the bright pink he had chosen and continued._

_She gave a single look to her creation before shoving the page to his face._

_‘What’s this?’ she asked, almost jumping in her place in excitement. He tried to make as much sense of the doodle as he could. Whatever it was, it seemed divided in two main figures._

_‘Is that…a flower?’ he said, pointing to the red and yellow part._

_Morgan giggled and shook her head, not at all offended by his failed guess._

_‘No daddy. It’s you!’_

_‘Me? Wow! I love how fit you made me, specially my pink purse’ he said, taking a wild guess to the other, much smaller figure._

_Obviously, he had guessed wrong._

_‘It’s not purse!’_

_‘It’s not?’ he said, because he really couldn’t tell between the figures but his daughter took the question as if he was making fun of her._

_‘No, silly! It’s me!’ she corrected, unaware of the sudden rush of warmth that had filled Tony’s chest as soon as the words left her mouth._

_He was quick to recuperate though._

_‘Oh yeah! That’s right, silly me, yes. I can see it now’ He could not. ‘You made yourself with your pink dress, of course. It looks lovely on you’_

_Morgan seemed delighted by his enthusiasm and offered him the page. He felt his heart accelerate in anticipation._

_‘For me?’_

_‘For you’_

_Tony took the page with as much care as if he was handling the most precious thing in the world._

_‘I love it, Morgoona’ he said, kissing her again, this time in the cheek. ‘This goes directly to the fridge!’_

It was no longer in the fridge. Honestly? Tony liked this new arrangement better, for once.

Feeling still fuzzy and warm inside at the memory, Tony stood up and went to get a closer look at the art display. Between the drawings, all which he knew by heart, there were some paintings Tony had never seen before. They were watercolors, all of them featuring the Malibu house from different angles.

He looked at the signature in the corner. It looked like a doodle; he most he could come up out it was an H.

He shrugged as he took a few steps back. They were probably purchased by Pepper and he had always respected and seconded her perfect taste. Perhaps they were somewhere else in the house originally and he hadn’t noticed, but they seemed to fit between the drawings of his daughter.

Tony took another step back and felt his leg bump against the coffee table, hearing a crash half a second later and pulling his attention away from the wall. He turned to see that some photo frames had fallen from the table but luckily the glass hadn’t broken.

He pulled them back to their place and sat again in the sofa, relishing on the familiar feeling. He grinned at the photos; many were just him and Pepper, others with Rhodey, some sneaky selfies with Happy on the corners and a lot of him and all the members of the team along the years; before the so-called Civil War. Before Thanos. 

And then it was that one photo right in the middle, probably the most important photo of them all. He had been searching for it when he was in the kitchen upstairs. He should have known it would be here.

There, in the middle of the cheesy display of memories, was the picture he and Peter had taken when he had made the internship “official”. He had stared at the photo so many times for years that he knew all the details on it with his eyes closed, but he took it in his hands anyways.

“ _Are you all right, sir?”_ JARVIS called him, making Tony jump a little. With a start, he noticed a few dripples of water in the glass of the frame and realized that he was crying.

“Yeah, yeah” he said, cleaning the tears with the back of his hand. He sniffed a little and returned the photo back with the others.

“I – I should have come here first. I like it –” he motioned around.

“ _Do you want me register the new findings?”_

“Yeah…yeah, you do that”

It had finally hit him, after wandering around the house with reminders of his life and then seeing everyone he loved in those pictures – he was sad. He missed them all already so _so_ much and all he had now were memories.

But he also felt glad.

Despite all the bad moments, his life had been filled with plenty good times too. Everything he had found here was proof of that.

And now being there, in this workshop arranged like a combination of all the labs he had on life since he became Iron Man, he felt such a wave of warming familiarity that he felt at ease at last.

“ _You have found 30% of the house changes, sir”_ JARVIS said, reminding him of his little game.

Tony smiled, sniffed again and tried to compose himself. He stood up and looked around him, taking in his surroundings and all the emotions they brought. The sun that filtered through the windows seemed to have grown stronger and felt almost inviting.

“Let’s give that a rest, okay? What time is it? Do I still get hungry here?” Tony looked down “Because I swear I felt my stomach rumble just about now”

“ _It is noon already. If you desire, I could make I guide of all the physiological needs you can still feel but you can choose to react to or not.”_

“Nah, save it JARVIS. I’ll figure it out as I go, it’s not like I can die again, is it?” he joked. “Besides, I have never been good at reading your manuals”

“ _It was worth a try”_

Tony searched around the room until he found some of his old comms in the counter.

“Well, I guess we should keep moving” he said, putting them on and going for the exit. “I haven’t gone outside”

He would make himself something to eat and go take a walk around. Maybe go down the beach; even swim a little, who knows. He was sure he had seen his swimsuit in his closet at the beginning of the tour. It had to be there for him to use it.

Just as he was reaching the glass door to the stairs, he gave one last look to his workshop.

If anything, he would try to enjoy calling this place home once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So our dear Tony is finally feeling comfortable yet a little lonely. Let's see how long that lasts, shall we?  
> I wanted to upload this earlier but the chapter began really short and then it began to grow really really big. I feel this is the middle ground.  
> As I post this I'm already working on the next chapter, but it might go out in two or three weeks. I have no beta so I re-read everything several times.  
> Thanks to everyone that has commented, I'm so delighted. I hope you guys like this chapter too.


	3. A sight for sore eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jarvis” he swallowed stiffly “Do we have surveillance down the coast?”  
> “As a matter of fact we do, sir”  
> “Good.” Tony began to walk the stairs back into the house, skipping steps in his haste “I want to see who is down there”  
> The images projected immediately and Tony felt his heart drop and soar at the same time. He leaned against the nearest wall and rubbed his face, blinking.  
> “I’ll be damned” he whispered, resuming his steps until he was full on running back down the workshop, where his suits were.

_“The rules were clear, a soul for a soul”_

_“Why should the rules matter anymore? Knowing where it led, shouldn’t those sacrifices be meaningless?”_

_“That’s not how it works”_

_“Well, you are the ones that make how everything works. The sacrifices were to prevent a bad use of power, and we all know what actually happened-”_

_“What we are trying to say is that if you are to survive, they should too”_

_“Why?”_

_“We need them”_

.

.

.

.

.

.

Tony did not know what to expect when he stepped outside. A part of him had thought that this heaven-ish house would be his only terrain and that the outside world would be a limbo-like thing that he would not be able to reach, leaving him confined inside for the rest of eternity.

This was why it was a surprise to him when he stepped out to the balcony and there was no reaction at all. The sun kept shining, the ocean breeze caressed his face as he sat in one of the lounge chairs near the pool and the clouds down the horizon kept gaining ground in the sky.

He sat there for a few minutes and just observed. It seemed like there was a whole world outside his Malibu home, waiting for him to see it.

He had changed into a simple white t-shirt and trunks and made himself a tuna-fish sandwich that tasted far too good for what it really was. The seeing-glasses he had taken from his room were analyzing every single detail they found around him but he soon got tired and stopped them.

_It’s so quiet._ He thought after the fourth bite. The only sounds being the ones of the wind and the ocean.

He was unused to silence. His last months had been filled with a lot of noises from all members of team working against the clock to try to fulfill their mission and even before that, the lake house had not been a quiet place either. 

Here Tony could hear a pin drop if he wanted to.

It was…lonely.

Uncomfortable by the feeling Tony stood up again, his sandals making a squeaky sound. He walked around the pool and reclined himself at the glass border, staring at the horizon and trying to figure out what to do next.

There was a flash of colors on the corner of his eye, too fast for him to react to it, but not fast enough to not be registered by his glasses.

Quickly, their scanning began once again at the new scenery and made Tony focus on their information. The screen changed and Tony froze mid-bite.

It couldn’t be, could it? H-how?

There, down the cliffs, at the farthest part of the beach, was a person. Or at least that’s as far as his glasses could tell at this distance.

“Jarvis” he swallowed stiffly “Do we have surveillance down the coast?” he asked, eating the rest of the sandwich in a rush.

“ _As a matter of fact we do, sir”_

“Good. Get me images, sync them with this.” Tony began to walk the stairs back into the house, skipping steps in his haste “I want to see who is down there”

The images projected immediately and Tony felt his heart drop and soar at the same time. He leaned against the nearest wall and rubbed his face, blinking.

“I’ll be damned” he whispered, resuming his steps until he was full on running back down the workshop, where his suits were.

“ _Sir, the housing unit of Mark-L is near the computers”_ JARVIS indicated when Tony reached downstairs. Tony nodded in thanks and went directly for it.

He took the detachable reactor and pressed it into his chest. The suit began to form as he rushed to the exit tunnel.

“Open the gates”

“ _As you wish”_

Tony flew out without another word, rushing to reach the beach as fast as he could. The flight was short; he landed in the sand just few minutes after leaving the house.

The suit retracted just as the water of the ocean reached his ankles and buried his feet. It was cold but not in an unpleasant way, he noted absentmindedly.

Despite his hurry, he had landed several feet away from his target so he could walk the remaining distance himself.

As he took slow and deliberate steps, he wondered why the person hadn’t reacted at all. His entrance had been subtle but not precisely quiet.

Biting his lip in a rare instance of doubt, Tony took a deep breath and spoke in his most laid-back tone.

“Agent Romanoff, did you miss me?”

\---

The fall lasted less than a minute. Natasha had expected for time to slow down, for her to be able to see her friend’s face just a little longer, even if it was clouded by anguish. He did not deserve to see this, she had thought.

But it had to be done. She did not fear pain and she was not afraid. She was ready.

Still, if this was goodbye, for both of them…She just wanted a few more seconds.

She never felt the impact. She doesn’t even remember closing her eyes.

Something happened then.

Images flashed before her, so fast she could barely tell what was happening.

There was water…lots of it. It was all over the place. It was orange. No, red. Both. It reflected something. The sky. It reflected the sky. Was it a sunset?

There was a woman in front of her. Not human. Different. Natasha had seen different. This woman kind of reminded her of Nebula. Alien, then. Green skin and everything.

She seemed to say something. She could not hear. The woman looked down to the water. Natasha followed her gaze.

Her reflection was not her own. Neither was the woman’s. There was someone in the water…then it wasn’t. It was just her and the woman again.

The sky changed. It turned redder and then yellow and purple and blue and green and finally back to orange. Brighter this time. Too much.

Natasha heard a voice…

_'We need them'_

…and then there was only darkness.

At least, that’s the first thing she noticed. The dark.

Her senses were dulled and everything seemed to register slower than usual. It felt like wakening from a long dream.

She was comfortable, laying in something warm and grainy. The wind caressed her face, so that meant she was outside. She could feel the heat from the sun, but even with her eyes closed, she could tell it was not that high on the sky. The heat did not felt like that warm.

A sound she did not expect came through. The sound of water crashing down.

Natasha opened her eyes slowly, almost as if she had just taken a midday nap. She was greeted by the bluest of skies.

The sight caught her off-guard and for a second her mind went completely blank.

Then the sound came once again and Natasha jumped in her place, straightening up.

The ocean was just a few feet away from her.

She looked at herself. She was no longer wearing the suit; she was wearing a white dress she had never seen before. Her hair moved with the wind, it was loose now and the tips were back to their original color. She was barefoot.

There was no scratch on her. She touched her head. She felt no pain.

“What?” she whispered.

What…what had happened? What was that dream about?

She tried to remember the last thing she saw, but found her mind going blank. She was sure she it had been important. 

She looked around. All around her there was just sand, the ocean and some cliffs that seemed to go on forever on one side.

They were tall, but not as tall as –

Natasha closed her eyes and felt shivers ran down her spine. Maybe she could not remember her dream, but she could recall perfectly what had come before.

The mission. Vormir. Clint.

The sacrifice.

All that had really happened.

She was dead.

The realization rattled her entire body. She hugged herself and curled in as much as she could. She tried to control her breathing even though she felt as if a stone had settled in her chest.

She tried to invoke her training. She had been made since childhood to prepare for all kinds of events and to never show emotion, no matter how extreme the circumstances. Somehow dying felt like the exception to the rule.

Still, she managed to calm down faster than she thought possible; the lump still there within her, but manageable. 

When she looked up again her breaths had settled and the tremors were gone. If anyone were to see her from the outside, she would look as calm as ever.

That is, if there was anyone there to see her at all.

Natasha looked around once again, slower this time. She took in her surroundings and waited a few minutes for something to happen, for someone, anyone, to come.

But no one did.

Natasha had no choice but to face the facts as they were presented to her: she was dead, alone and, apparently, dressed for a picnic at the beach.

Never one to wait for something to happen, Natasha stood up and began to walk, choosing the side of the cliffs. Surely there was more to this place. Maybe if she walked far enough, she would find someone else.

Or so she thought.

She walked what felt like hours. Maybe they were. Maybe they were just minutes. The sun had barely moved in the sky, but the more time she spent without seeing anyone, the less faith she had.

There was nothing around her, not a single change in the scenery that could make her think this place was just the means to the destination and not the destination itself.

At some point she stopped. The heat had made no harm to her skin whatsoever since she woke up so there was no point in looking for shade.

She sat nearer the ocean this time, the water reaching for her and stopping just a few inches away.

She thought of everything she had done in her life. All the lives taken. All the mistakes. She had spent the second half of her life trying to make up for the errors of the first. Looking at the place she was, how it was relatively peaceful and how she remained completely unharmed despite the brutality of her death, she thought that maybe she had done enough to not gain herself a place in hell.

But seeing that she was also totally alone, perhaps she had failed to get in heaven too. Maybe it was her destiny to roam around this place forever, never to see another soul again.

She…she could try to live with that, if this was even called _life_ anymore. It might not be what had wanted, but given everything that had happened, it seemed that would this would be the best she would get. 

She just wished there was a way to know what had happened after her death. What had been of the others, of their mission?

Then, and only then, she would be truly at peace with this arrangement.

The sea breeze caressed her face and Natasha closed her eyes, inhaling the salty air. The sound of the waves was so soothing and hypnotizing that she found herself rooking a little in her place, relaxing bit by bit.

She was so concentrated that she did not hear the repulsors at the distance, nor the steps growing closer.

Honestly, nothing could have prepared her for the voice that greeted her.

\---

Tony had seen many reactions to his presence along his life, going from absolute awe to absolute disgust, he had seen every range of human emotion every time he stepped foot in a room. He had grown fairly good at predicting how anyone would react upon seeing him, no matter the circumstance.

None of that experience him helped predict how Natasha would react.

She was sitting in the sand, eyes closed, seemly deep in thought. When he spoke, her eyes opened as if she had been struck by lightning and turned to him so fast he thought she would get whiplash. He had known her for over more than a decade and this was the most surprised he had ever seen her.

“Tony?” she said just barely above a whisper that it was a wonder he had heard her.

“The one and only” he grinned, taking another step to her.

She stood up slowly, as if she couldn’t believe he was there in front of her. There was a small, gentle smile beginning to form on her lips but it was soon replaced with a concerned frown as he took yet another step.

“What are you doing here?” she said, her eyes scanning him up from head to toe in search for a clue Tony knew she would never find. He took the last steps until she was within arm’s reach.

He tried to play it lightly.

“What am I doing here? Really? _That’s_ your greeting? Because if my presence here is unwanted I can go back” he mocked, pointing to the cliffs.

Whatever surprise Natasha had, his antics erased it completely. She was, as always, unimpressed.

“Tony”

“Here I am, flying all the way down here to meet you, happy out of my mind to see you –” he began to rant, channeling his inner Peter in hopes of distracting her of her question.

“ _Tony”_

“Especially after the last stunt you pulled, because I cannot begin to tell you how big of a blow it was for the team. For Steve, Bruce; God, for _Clint–”_

“TONY!”

He shut his mouth immediately at the feeling of a pair of hands in his arms and the sight of red-dimmed eyes.

During the last five years, he had seen Natasha only a handful of times. He could count the times she had cried in front of him with one hand.

Regret clawed its way to his chest and he cursed himself for bringing Clint up. He had seen how he devastated he was after returning to the Compound. Even without the details, it was clear how horrible the whole thing had been.

“I’m sorry” he said, looking down. He raised his hands to put them on her shoulders. Natasha searched for his eyes.

“What are you doing here” she asked again.

He shrugged and gave her a resigned smile.

“I think you know the answer to that question” he muttered, reciting JARVIS’s words and understanding for the first time why the AI had avoided saying the direct answer aloud.

Some things can’t just be said.

It took a second for Natasha’s eyes to fill with understanding. She looked horrified.

“No”

“Yep”

Before he could add anything else, she closed the short distance they had and embraced him, holding him tight. He did not hesitate to return the hug.

“What happened?” she whispered in his ear, the arms around him shaking a little. He knew what she was asking but there was a piece of information far more important to be shared than to explain what had befallen him.

He squeezed her a little bit tighter for one second and then broke the hug. He held her gaze firmly.

“We did it, Nat. Everything we worked for, it all worked out. We reversed it” He assured her “Everyone came back”

Her eyebrows shot up in shock, hope shinning in her eyes.

“All of them?”

“Every single one”

Natasha’s face broke into a teary full-on grin that spread to her face and seemed to make her look younger.

Her happiness and relief, however, did not last long for it was tainted once again with confusion. She frowned at him.

“But then…how are you –?”

“We might have bumped with an old purple asshole on our little heist through time” he cut her off, knowing there was no way around it “And uh… well, he figured out what we were doing. Brought his army all the way to the present. He was trying to stop us from undoing his work”

Her frown grew even more.

“Was he stopped?”

“The threat of Thanos is gone, for good this time” he assured her, relishing on the finality of that single fact “I made sure of it” He motioned a snap with his fingers. Nat’s eyes widened.

“ _No”_

“Again, yep”

“Oh tony…” she seemed at loss of words. Regret clouded her face, much to his surprise “I should have done more. Maybe if I –”

“Wow! Okay, no.” He cut her off “You are not seriously blaming yourself over this, right? There was literally no way you could have prevented what happened”

“Surely I could have done more to help”

Natasha looked so heartbroken that he shook his head, desperate to wipe away that pain from her face.

“Look. You did enough. More than enough. Even before the mission. You – you helped so many affected by the Decimation. Those kids that lost their parents, you trying to keep an eye on the world when the rest of us left…” Tony paused, the face of Clint after returning without her coming to mind “And the sacrifice you made to get us the stone? It gave us a chance. Without you, there would have been no victory at all. You gave more than any could have ever asked you for”

“But–”

“Ah, ah! No buts. Stop dwelling on it, okay? We won. It’s over” he declared, hoping to settle the conversation. Of course, Nat always had always matched his stubbornness.

She crossed her arms and glared at him.

“You had a family to return to” she challenged.

“So did you.” He shot back. She did. She had had them, even though they hadn’t been their closest their last years. What Rogers said had been true. They were her family and they had _lost her_. “Or may I remind you I was not the only one to pull the self-sacrificing card?”

She shrank back a little and refused to meet his gaze.

“There was no other way”

“I agree there wasn’t. And _here we are”_

Natasha sighed and Tony rubbed his temple. He breathed hard, trying to fight off the beginnings of a migraine. She eyed the movement.

“Even here, we still discuss over petty things, huh?” She sighed.

“Don’t start complaining yet, I get worse”

“Oh, _joy”_

They glared at each other for a few minutes until small smiles began to play at both of their lips and they finally burst into chuckles. They hugged again, longer this time.

Tony brushed her hair, a motion he had learned to do with Peter and later on with his daughter. Natasha held on tightly, burying her face in his shoulder and rubbing circles on his back. In life, they had never been overly-affectionate with each other, but the bond they had had been strong.

Now, in this place, they were all they had. And God did it feel good to have company.

“Clint told us how it happened” he said, his fingers working through the locks of hair “I’m sorry it ended the way it did. You deserved better”

Natasha shook her head and held him tighter.

“It had to be done” was all she said, her tone final. Tony decided to not push further for the moment, but Natasha continued “Are you sure they all came back?” she asked in a tiny voice.

He nodded.

“I held the kid in my arms” he assured her, trying to repress the joy and pain of that memory.

“Then I don’t regret it” she declared, her voice gaining strength. She gave him a squeeze “But I’m sorry it happened to you too. Retired life looked good on you”

Tony closed his eyes and leaned a bit more into the embrace. He could hear the ocean at their side and feel the heat of the sun in his skin. He focused on that when he answered.

“As long as they are safe, all was worth it” he said, picturing the face of a certain wizard, millions of scenarios and just one where everything turned out alright. He repeated her words “It was the only way”

She broke the hug this time, just enough for her to hold his gaze. He did not know what she saw on him, perhaps the same resigned peace he could see in her eyes. The happiness of the victory, the pain of what it costed and the acceptance of what was done.

He expected something solemn to come out of her lips. He did not expect a joke.

“You know, frankly speaking, I always thought Steve would be the first to go, with all the grief we gave him about his age” She smiled at him “Seems like I got the shell-head instead”

Tony put a hand to his chest, feigning hurt, but returned the smile nonetheless. He could play along. 

“Excuse me! I’m much better company than the Capsicle. You’ll never get bored in my company”

“I don’t know. You are a walking one-liner machine. That’ll get old eventually”

“ _Uncalled for.”_

“You are such a drama queen”

“You love my one-liners! You just pretend to be too cool for them”

“I don’t need to pretend, I _know_ I am. You were the one who loved making the whole knowing-all-diva act”

“Well, this so called knowing-all solved time-travel and saved the universe with a cheap trick AND a one-liner. I think I’m entitled to be a diva”

“Ah, there it is: the sense of modesty you became famous for”

“Now this is a total attack to my character. I don’t deserve this”

Natasha rolled her eyes, grinning.

“Oh god, I’m spending the eternity with you” she groaned comically. Tony snorted.

“I’m flattered by how excited you sound”

Natasha threw her head back with a laugh. Tony grinned, and took note of how relaxed her posture was, how free of the weight of the world she seemed. He sobered up a little.

“It looks good on you” he said. Nat tilted her head, prompting him to continue “Being at peace” he clarified.

Natasha’s eyes softened, she turned her gaze back to the ocean and he copied her. The breeze caressed both of their faces.

“I _am_ glad” she said, not looking at him “Eternity doesn’t seem so bad if I am sharing it with a friend”

Tony softened. He wrapped her one arm around her and she quickly returned the gesture.

An idea came to him. Something he had been thinking on doing but now that he had actual company he was filled with the urge to try.

Tony took off the reactor from his chest and the comms from his ear and threw them to the sand. Feeling adventurous, he took Natasha’s hand and started to walk her in the oceans direction. 

“What are you doing?” she said despite following his movements without any resistance. The water buried their feet in the sand, pleasantly cold against the heat of the sun.

“What do you think, Tasha? It’s a beautiful day, we might as well enjoy it” he said, bending down and splashing her.

Natasha gasped at the sudden attack and, with a fierce yet playful look, she immediately retaliated, jumping on him a throwing them both down to the water.

They chased each other like little children playing tag; they ran, they swam and they enjoyed the weather and the beach in a way neither of them had had the chance before.

They were free to do as they pleased and their first act would be to have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Nat found each other! Yay!  
> I'm super happy because I managed to finish this chapter earlier. I'm once again working on the next one, but that one is still a draft. Hopefully I can work on it this weekend.  
> Thank you so much to all of you guys for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first time ever publishing something here on AO3 and I am both excited and terrified.  
> I’ve been playing with this idea since I saw Endgame but I did not know how to make it real. English is not my first language and this is by far the most I have written in it. I doubled checked everything but I still hope there are no errors I missed.  
> I will try to update as constant as possible, but the transition from avid reader to writer will be a strange one. I will try my best though.  
> I want to thank Imaredshirt because she was the first one who ever read this when it was only a draft and she was super sweet and supportive of the whole thing.  
> Now let’s see where it takes us.


End file.
